Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
You're earring is so big in my mouth
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Drunk is not a location!
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
