wanna go halves on a baby?
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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