he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
The beer is more important than you right now.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
