it was like his penis was on wheels.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
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