PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
We talked him into tasing himself.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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