my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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