Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
