Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
