He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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