Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
