hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
