Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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