I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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