He uses pillows to masturbate.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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