Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
