You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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