can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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