We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
