I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
i think i just lost a toe
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
