guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
