Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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