the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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