It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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