The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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