Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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