well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
