take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
