I'm so fucking centered right now
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
