do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
