Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Randomize
