Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
