Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
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