I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
