He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
