My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I just gift wrapped bread.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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