Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
