If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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