Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
