you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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