I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
