I didn't shave. On purpose
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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