How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
