Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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