She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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