saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
