is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
