that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
