Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
the gays at disneyland are vicious
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
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