WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
