wakey wakey hands off snakey
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
