God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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