dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize