I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
