i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
