I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
