first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
