literally had 100 drinks last night.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
