She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
you didnt know i had herpes?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Randomize
