i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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