Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize