Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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