Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
