We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
