you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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