Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Randomize
