I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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